CRASH: Q-less

special agent swede

The reason Bin Laden and his evil ilk remain a threat to the civilized world is quite simple. There is no Bond, James Bond.  In a local theater at the age of ten, the Goldfinger revelation proved to us beyond any reasonable doubt that no malevolent evil could exist as long as Sean Connery was on the scene.  No suaver, machoer or more effective anti-crime agent than 007 has ever drawn a breath.  Sorry,  contemporary “Bonds” are wimpy wannabe’s.

And his ride?  Get outta here.  The ’63 Aston Martin DB5 is to this day the most awesomest fusion of sophisticated, high-class auto-testosterone and high-tech weaponry ever conceived.  In sixth grade 1965, if you were anybody, you had a 1/24 scale plastic model displayed prominently in your room…like an alter.  Perhaps inhaling the airplane glue during assembly may have added to the mystique.

It seems the actual legendary Bond-mobile has been sitting in the Philly home of radio mogul Jerry Lee since 1969, and is going on the auction block this month.  I simply must own this automobile.  My only problem being the estimated auction price will likely top £7 mil ($10 mil US) – and after reviewing my budget, I think I can come up with about $750 – or perhaps $150,750 if I sell my house.  So I am now soliciting donations for the balance needed.  Think about it my friends, this involves no less than the survival of civilization as we know it.

Forget nukes, if Ahmadinijad gets his hands on Bond’s DB5 he will rule the planet, and you know it!  Please, either consider giving generously to my cause, or prepare to submit to the Twelfth Imam!  Do the right thing!